But a fool would assume other have not,

Endured the pain from which you now rest,

And now seek comfort, just as you’ve sought.

You give yourself greater value that all,

Value which you have not earned or received,

I wait for you off your horse to fall

And all other, your ignorance be freed

You think that you’re right, without exception

The most knowledgable and smart, indeed.

Delusion greatly clogs your perception

Brings self-imposed deception, I see.

So you might think, “I’m holier than thou.”

But thou art off by a very long way

If the truth were to be told, you’re scarcely endowed

I pity those who in your company stay

Or that I feel your pain

Out of my life you wish to hurry

But my heart remains the same

I give you all. You give me naught.

I know this isn’t fair

But when you stand there by my side

I pretend you actually care

We go in circles every day

Yet logic’s far behind

From soft blue dawn to twilight’s grey

You’re always on my mind

We go in circles everyday

You’re always on my mind

As you and I, we, drift apart

This feeling overpowers my head

And makes me wish that I was dead.

But why such strong emotional pain

To block my thoughts and cloud my brain?

Out of this, I have not to gain.

Does my heart make me insane?

Alas, I myself cannot be sure

For I still, this pain endure

Although I think it would be best

For me to put my mind to rest

To move on to bigger and better things

And forget my love, and the pain it brings.

Who felt emotion the same as I do,

Who possesses such a fervor as I,

I pity him, for his life shall be grim.

To care for someone’s life more that one’s own,

Leads only to sacrifice and degradation,

And without reciprocation,

Leads to painful thoughts and actions moreso.

Overzealous emotion consumes the mind,

Causing desire of bodily death,

As a means of escape from more painful things.

Which will haunt eternally.

Forever founding a feeling of regret,

Which will remain with you, and never fade.

Husband: Honey I’m sorry I didn’t get you a birthday present, but if I had remembered as I intended to, you would have loved it!!

This conversation could end one of two ways; let’s see if you can choose the correct one:

1. Wife: Awwww!!! That’s so sweet that you would’ve gotten me something but didn’t! I love you Snugglemuffin!!

2. Wife: I’m taking the kids and we’re going to my mother’s.

Do you know which one actually happened? Do you?! Well neither of them actually happened they’re both hypotheticals, but number 2 is far more realistic even in its hyperbolic form.

~~~

Look at those squiggles above!! They indicate a change in the subject matter, but not one so large as to constitute the information to be placed in a different post! Exciting!

Seriously though, we’ve had our giggles, now back to the subject at hand. Christmas presents. Or (Insert whatever gift giving holiday you celebrate here) presents. First of all if you ask someone what they want for Christmas, and then decide to go out and get them something completely different, what’s the point of asking? You implant false expectations in my… someone’s… mind which will only lead to disappointment which will have to be repressed because you have to be “grateful” and “it’s the thought that counts.”

No. Speaking exclusively to family members, it’s NOT the thought that counts. The only reason family members get each other Christmas presents on Christmas (with the exception of younger kids) is because they feel obligated to do so. They fulfilled their purpose by getting the present, but without any elation or excitement from the receiving end who has to act all “grateful” and whatnot. That defeats the purpose of Christmas, so either get people something that they want, or let them pick out their own Christmas present because selfishly “giving” in order to fulfill an obligation isn’t loving or nice or joyous or any other happy adjective you can think of.  Couples, adults giving to younger children who get excited about everything, or close friends should be the only people giving out presents because they’re usually the only people who actually care about what their giving and who their giving it to. This would also cause a lot less stress around the holidays.

Well I’m out of analogies and rants about said topic for now. Leave a comment, but don’t intend to and then never do it. I shall see you all on my next post. Happy day and week and month and year and lifetime to all!

Tender hearts mold and adjust to the pressure

Closed minds retain the maladies of life

While open minds expand and grow with time

Evil thoughts lead to evil deeds

Which come back to you, eventually

The coldest heart cannot be warmed by fire

Or be at peace — without desire

Your body and soul shall forever suffer

Even success

Shall be short and sweet

The ground shall crumble

Beneath your feet

Then you’ll fall

At night, glowing blue

I have a coat — for warmth

I could stare forever at the ice

~~~

Ticking, Spinning

All day long, every day

Every hour

and minute, and second

Ticking

This post is going to be my first in a series of posts related to the New Year. Things related to me personally, things that people do at the beginning of new years, and the year 2012 specifically. I shall be divulging to you -my readers- the list of books which I would like to complete over the course of the year 2012 and why this is so. In no particular order:

1. Walden
2. U.S. News Best Colleges 2011 edition
3. Wuthering Heights
4. A Little History of the World
5. The Picture of Dorian Gray
6. An Elder Scrolls Novel
7. A Midsummer Night’s Dream
8. Candide
9. Grimm’s Fairy Tales
10. Choke/ Fight Club

These are the only ones that immediately come to mind, but I’ll think of more later.

Number one was a Christmas Present from my Great-Grandmother. Written by the American transcendental author Henry David Thoreau, Walden was very popular during (I think) the mid 1900′s. It’s all about higher living and getting the most out of life and be yourself and all that junk. We learned about it in my American Literature Class! but while learning about said book in said class, I discovered that I wasn’t very transcendental and didn’t agree with any of the teachings of the transcendentalists; in fact, I pushed the opposite viewpoint. I think that by reading this book I will be able to get a different perspective on the world and understand people a little bit better.

Number 2 was also a Christmas present. I’ll have to start applying to colleges soon, and any help I can get would be… helpful.

3 and 4 I’ve already read, but rereading them over the summer will help me to prepare for the Advanced Placement classes I’m taking my senior year (I’m bragging a little. Get over it.)

5 is a book written by the great Oscar Wilde, and was also a main point in the classic movie about classic literature, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Even if you’ve never seen this movie it wouldn’t be an incorrect assumption to make if you assume that Mr. Dorian Gray was extraordinary.

6 is because I’m a nerd who reads novels based on video games.

I consider myself a connaisseur of the arts, an appreciator of the unique, and a fan of William Shakespeare. Yet the only works of his that I’ve had the pleasure to read have been Romeo and Juliet and The Taming of the Shrew, both of which I enjoyed thoroughly. This is why number 7 is here.

Candide (8) is also a historical book which satirically tells the story of… I’m not sure exactly what it tells the story of since I haven’t read it yet, but it’ll be good, I think.

It highly upsets me that I’ve never read the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales; everyone says that they’re better than the “Disney” versions that everyone knows and I’d like to judge for myself. That is why this made the list.

I love Chuck Palahniuk. I can spell his name, yet I still remain unable to pronounce it, so I call him Chuck. Chuck and I go wayyyy back. All the way back to Invisible Monsters. This is why I’d like to continue reading my old pal Chuck’s work.

So that’s it. Now that you’ve read this entire article that I took my precious and extremely valuable time to write, I’m sure you could spare one of your insignificant little minutes in order to write a comment telling me whether you like these books or not, what books you recommend, and what books you’d like to read over the course of 2012. And check back in later for more wonderful posts by yours truly!

In a cabin of wood

He sees the natural freedom Outside

The wooden walls — a jail cell

A young doe comes into view

She cautiously walks a few paces

Then delicately nibbles on the grass

The boy is delighted

His eyes sparkle

He jumps to his feet

And presses his nose to the cool glass

The doe raises her head, Alert

A second later an arrow violently pierces her head from behind

The bloodly arrow-tip protrudes from her eye–

She jolts and makes a few bounds, all in vain

The animal collapses, blood now cascading from its face

Is tongue hangs out

The hunter emerges from behind a tree, bow held in triumph

The boy stands the whole time

Nose still pressed against the glass — warm and fogged by his Breath

His mouth open with horror,

His eyes damp.

Mother comes to lead the boy from the window –

That night the Mother, the Father, and the boy dine on venison

A perfectly prepared — Tasteless — Meal.

That I mistake a knock and thunder?

It knocks three times,

Then knocks three more.

It knocks and knocks upon my door.

While rain upon my roof is beating

My heart is quick and also fleeting

I cannot sleep. I refrain from eating

For the rain continues beating

O what awful, dreadful beating!

Yet, the worst is always thunder

A horrible noise I always seem under

And because the clouds block out the light

Thunder always comes at night

So as I sit and cringe and rock

There is still that persistent knock.