OMG IT’S MAY!!!

I honestly didn’t notice that today was the FIRST DAY OF MAY until about 11:34 today D: and then I was like omg that’s awesome!!!!! but then I thought, why is this so awesome??? So I’m going to list a few reasons why the Month of May is awesome

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May 3: My anniversary (the one that I go by anyway)

May 17: My last day of school!!!

May 1: Stepmother Day (I don’t have a stepmother, but someone does

May 2: Play Your Ukelele Day!!

Mother’s Day….

May 6: No Homework Day!! (because I get homework psshhhh)

May 12: Hug your cat (until it dies of suffocation) Day

There’s a Friday the 13th

May 14: National Train Day…. TRAIN?!?!?!? who likes TRAIN?!!?!??!?!??! gr0zz

Brother’s Day is May 24…. Oh darn I’m busy that day

May 25: Nerd Pride Day. Be sure to celebrate! You know I won’t

INDIE 500

May 17: Full Moon

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That’s all I got :/ be sure to comment and tell me your favorite things that go on in the month of May!!!

When you see a blue polka-dotted elephant…

You will notice many things about it. Here are a few: (Do NOT look ahead, especially at #12!!! if you do bad things will happen!!!!! we WILL hunt you down and we WILL find you!!!!)

1. It is blue

2. It is an elephant

3. It has polka-dots on it

4. You might be hallucinating

5. For some reason, you will instantly become psychic

6. It is an oddly colored animal… for most elephants are not blue with polka-dots

7. You will be able to read people’s minds.

8. If #7 does not happen, and something else weird happens ( you can see through walls or something like that) there’s something wrong with you… see a doctor.

9. If you didn’t notice #5 and number #7 meant the same thing, your not very observant

10. If after reading #9, you looked back at #5 and #7 to make sure they were the same thing, your not very trusting.

11. If you read this and didn’t laugh at the humor of any of them,  you’re a LOSER!

12. If you looked ahead, you’re a cheater and should leave this website immediately, turn off your computer, and sell it because you obviously are incapable of following simple instructions and should be sent to a mental facility immediately where they can figure out what’s wrong with you

13. if you didn’t look ahead, ignore #12

What i learned in Mythology Class

These are the 11 most important things I learned from taking Mythology this semester:

1. Your wife might get mad if you sleep with other women

2. Eating your children is not a good idea. They will get out, and they will kill you.

3. Stapling yourself in the arm 3 times is not very smart

4. If you act weirder than the Mythology teacher…  your not going to make many friends

5. Bumpy Pokemon stickers and dragon tattoos are always cool

6. Spellung iz knot emportunt.

7. Nobody knows how to pronounce Norse words. (Yggrdrasil, Sleipinenepiner….)

8. Something’s wrong if your cousin is Chinese and you and both your parents are 100% White.

9. Weird people inhabit the classroom in the morning. Ignore them completely and DON’T WAVE AT THEM.

10. Random movies without notes are uneducational and relaxing. Don’t question it

11. Invest in antiperspirant unless you want your armpits to give birth to frost giants.